The best part of knowing people who have kids is that they’re usually willing to let you babysit and play with the kids while they go off and do something else for a little bit. They get some time away from the munchkins, I get to be a five year old and run around the grass for a little while. The best part of playing around with other peoples’ children is that you get to “give them back” when you’re done. All the fun stuff, none of the responsibility.
Don’t get me wrong, I wholly intend on being married with children—just not now. I guess the best part of playing with other peoples’ kids is that it really lets you know how you feel about kids. With cheese pizza on plastic plates being attacked by a three year old to my left and a five year old to my right, I look across the dining table at my girlfriend, smile, and say, “later,” and she laughs and agrees. (Oh, I forgot to mention the 5 month old in the swing.)
Lately, I’ve been noticing a lot of babies and marriages around me (fortunately, no babies getting married, that would be weird). Maybe that’s because I told myself I wouldn’t get married while I’m still in school, and I just graduated. Or perhaps it’s because I know a lot of people that are currently pregnant, just had a baby, or talk about it all the time. The marriage portion? Well, I’ve always wanted to get married, so of course it’s always on my mind. Maybe my turning 30 this year has a little to do with it. Maybe I just like asking questions.
Thinking back to my blog about control a few days ago, there are some things that can be prepared for and some that cannot. I can plan and save and wait for the right time to get married, have kids, go to grad school, whatever. I could always defer for better conditions, I could always look back to worse conditions. I know kids don’t come with instructions, and neither do marriages. There are hundreds of books out there: how-to manuals, surveys, questions, 29 different levels of compatibility, but I think the real things that keep the marriage together, the real meat and potatoes (or boca and tofurkey products) that keep families together, just have to be experienced. No books. No one else telling me how to do it. Just our family keeping ourselves together from the inside out.
Nothing like bringing up a bunch of questions before I go to bed. That’s nothing new in my world, though.
I’ve been thinking about making the switch to Wordpress. I may keep it here though and start a new one for WP. Something more focused, less journal-ish, something more streamlined on one topic. I don’t know. I’ll keep you…wait for it…posted.