two semesters down, two to go

2 white pills, 800mg each of prescription ibuprofen, 3 times a day. chased with a single 500 mg hydrocodone twice daily. less than a week after getting discharged from several hours in the emergency room of Dominican Hospital in Santa Cruz. Needless to say, the beginning of the summer was a medically-induced haze. That was me this time last year. In the last twelve months so much has happened, and 99% of it revolves around the place many of my friends and classmates refuse to call "home" even though we all spend most of our time there than anywhere else: Cal State Long Beach. It's funny to think about how much has happened in such a short period of time. Just last summer I had the pleasure of combining forces with Martina and Scott, and with the good graces of Vicki and Lutz Moeckel, our visits to Long Beach had a cozy pair of welcoming arms in Garden Grove.

SOAR of mid-july i met my hub of transfer friends: Michelle (HAND!), Virginia, Dustin, Mark, Elyse (muggle!), Tiffanee and Farzi (my Indian family), Jason (TADS!), Diego (Golden Keeey!) and others. Congrats to Dustin on his walk last weekend, but we all thought you were one of us! ;) Class of 2011 here we come! Fast forward to Welcome auditions, Digby, you bastard, i knew i met you at open house, Taryne, you're my favorite nervous auditioner ever, Eric, Brian, Erica, Damian, y'all did a killer job and welcomed us with loving arms ;) Anne, thank you. I'm glad I got to meet you before the school year started and I thank you for everything else this year.

Coming from a community college, I had never worked with or around Graduate students, and come the top of the year I got the opportunity to work with the amazing Lysa Fox as her AD. That led to my pairing with Albert and the vault into our Los Lobos world with Lauren, David, Madi, Aaron and Susana. Songs of the Siren: The Greeks Remixed...now that was an eye-opening experience. I distinctly remembering standing on top of "the table" during light tech and telling Anne that if it weren't for my time in the Navy, I would've tapped out a month or two earlier. Helluva run friends, even with the holiday week in the middle (which included my first Disneyland annual pass ever, my new girlfriend, Courtney's, birthday, my 28th birthday and turkey weekend up north).

Relaxing over winter break was much needed and quite lovely, but little did I know that the first half of Spring semester would be even busier than the last. Acting in Much Ado About Nothing in Santa Monica, Assistant Directing for Edgar with A Human Interest Story, and Directing Shanley's The Big Funk: A Casual Play for showcase was the recipe for internal combustion. being surrounded by talented, passionate, and COMpassionate people was such a reward for this triple-booking, and i mean it in every sense of the phrase, "i couldn't have done it without you"

The latter half of the semester was just as eventful, but sleep was actually a part of it. A few doors have opened in the last few months and I'm excited for each one. I'm proud to say I'm one of LB State's Directing Majors, directing the Scholarship Showcase next semester with a cast of talented actors, there's a voice-over role in the works, and just general growth. In the fall I'm taking my first acting class in at least a couple years, and I'm looking forward to sharing 318A with the lovely bunch of folks that are also involved. Being a director has taught my a lot about acting as well though, watching the auditions, the process, the growth, and sometimes just listening: to each other and to myself can bring you things you can't learn in a classroom.

Jay Samit, the guest speaker at COTA's Commencement this year spoke of a few rules in his speech, and Rule #4 was my favorite: [paraphrased] Live your own dreams for yourself, not for others. I may be almost 30, and i may have spent five years between high school and college working in engineering as a nuclear reactor plant electrician, but I'm here now. Not because I'm supposed to be, or because that's what I do after high school, but because I want to be. I do it because i want it. I love it and I will continue to do it. As long as I'm doing what I love, I'll get up the next day and do it again. I may kick, scream, and cry at times, but every opening night, every closing, every time there's another episode closed, I can look myself in the mirror and say I still love what I do, and I've got nowhere to go but up. I'm still learning, and I'll continue to learn, because the day I think i know everything is the day I should stop doing what I'm doing.

here's to us, friends. whether you're walking next spring with the rest of the Class of 2011, walked already, walking in the future, or walking to whatever drum you beat, this one's for you. [raises beer.] Thank you CSU Long Beach for this past school year, and here's to the summer time. Cheers.

ps. thanks to madi moon for being in the Studio that day. BAM.

My Southern California Directorial Debut!!!

Through such catch phrases as "f**k my life" and "epic fail" adorning such minor mishaps as a pencil breaking or a dropped slice of cheese on the floor, many people have lost sight of the greater good. Society has taken a turn for the worse and has become its own worst enemy, sending the masses into a funk of wallowing misery. It isn't that bad, folks. It can always get worse, so enjoy it for what it is and just "live and let live."

The Big Funk,
by John Patrick Shanley
*edited for time

Directed by Marlon Deleon

Cast (in order of appearance):

Jill-Amelia Gonsalves
Fifi-Kristina Philipson
Omar-Steven LeFever
Austin-Corey Leis
Gregory-Mark Dunham

Start Time:	Thursday, March 18, 2010 at 11:00pm
End Time:	Friday, March 19, 2010 at 1:00pm
Location:	Room 24/26 (Showcase Room) in the basement of the Theatre Arts building at CSULB.
City/Town:	Long Beach, CA

NO ADMISSION FEE! Free theatre in LA County!! True story!

CSULB University Players presents...

Cal State Long Beach’s University Players Spring 2010 production of A Human Interest Story.

Somewhere in America, a man fantasizes about his best friend's wife. In another city, a young housewife momentarily loses sight of her children. Elsewhere, a politician relives a tragic second that forever changed his life, and a mother wonders where her teenage son got the gun. And in one town, a man on the verge of committing a horrific act of violence watches all this unfold on his TV screen. A HUMAN INTEREST STORY (OR THE GORY DETAILS AND ALL) is an unflinching portrait of an America obsessed with voyeurism. This mesmerizing, funny and frightening work asks the question: Is the imagination more cruel and unforgiving than reality?

Directed by Edgar Landa

Cast:
Male Voice 1.................Martin Cruz
Male Voice 2.................Ivan Rodriguez
Male Voice 3.................Kyle Jones
Female Voice 1.............Jenna Skeva
Female Voice 2.............Lauren Thill
Female Voice 3.............Cassandra Babcock

Assistant Director: Marlon Deleon
Stage Manager: Natalie Riemer

Opens March 5th 2010 @8pm
Runs through to March 20th @8pm.
Tuesdays-Saturdays 8pm with Saturday 2pm showings.

Tickets are $15 for regular admissions and $12 for students and seniors.

Tickets can be bought at the CSULB Theater Department box office,

or online at:http://ev6.evenue.net/cgi-bin/ncommerce3/SEGetEventList?groupCode=PT&linkID=carpenter&shopperContext=&caller=&appCode=

Singing, Swing Dancing, and Shakespeare in Santa Monica!

Cruthaigh Productions presents:
William Shakespeare's MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING

Sunday and Monday nights, 7:30pm
February 21st-March 15th, 2010

A special guest production of the Promenade Playhouse
1404 3rd St Promenade, Santa Monica CA

Tickets $18 at the door (Cash Only)
or online (recommended) at
www.CruthaighProductions.com

Starring (in alphabetical order)
Eric Billitzer as Leonato
Leon Cohen as Antonio
Marlon Deleon as Friar/Watchman
Tara Donovan as Beatrice
Dean Edward as Don Pedro
Ben Fitch as Dogberry
Roxanne Jaeckel as Verges/Balthasar
Robert Kane as Borachio
Sky King as Claudio
Sarah K. Morris as Hero
Sean Naughton as Benedick
Bryan Thomas as Conrade
Evelyn Christina Tonn as Margaret/Watchman
Constance Wu as Ursula/Seacoal
Brian Willis as Don John/Sexton

Directed by Josh Gren
Produced by Tara Donovan & Sean Naughton
Stage Manager Angela Lingrosso
Choreographed by Evelyn Meinz
Costume Design by Danielle Ozymandias
Hair Design by Matt Valle

a crash course in honesty

originally written Tuesday, June 17, 2008 at 12:58am

i am here.
i am imperfect.
i make decisions for myself.
i know when i make mistakes.
i learn from them.
i love music.
i live with music.
i have songs that are memories.
i have memories that i don't like.
i am from oakland.
i am also from antioch.
i was raised in california.
i grew up in virginia beach.
i laugh when people say, "high school years are the best years of your life."
i have no family.
i have a family.
i have friends.
i am my own friend.
i am a musician.
i am a sailor.
i am a submariner.
i have traveled to the arctic circle, italy, norway, and scotland.
i know what it is like to be away from home.
i have disappeared from the world for weeks at a time.
i know what it is like to be alone.
i know what it is like to be loved.
i have loved.
i have lost.
i tried again
and again.
i keep trying.
i am going to make it happen.
i am in college.
i am an actor.
i am a director.
i am a student.
i am also a teacher.
but i am not a student teacher.
i used to be an alcoholic.
but i'm better now.
i do not hurt people intentionally.
i know when i do, though.
i don't say "i'm sorry" enough.
sometimes i'm still afraid to love
but i still do
and i probably always will.
i've been a fiance
and a daddy
but not a father.
i will be a husband
and a father
and a daddy.
i will love my wife and my children the way they should be loved.
i want a family.
is it possible to be an actor, a director, a husband, and a father?
i can only pray that being good at one will make me better at the other.
i am a brother
and a son.
i am a role model.
i am happy
as i am sad.
i do not regret.
but i am ashamed.
i know what i've done
and i will know what i am to do.
i am not an addict
nor am i an object.
i am a predator
and i have also been the prey.
i pray that strength comes to me as it is due.
i am honest.
i lie.
but i do not lie when i love.
truly love
honestly love
from the recesses of my soul that i cannot access willingly.
my mind will react
my soul will create.
i will ultimately decide.
and so will He.
i left.
He did not.
He never does.
i did.
but i'm back now.
i feel better now because of it.
i tell the truth because i want to.
i lie because i don't know what to do
or simply because i am scared.
i am scared.
i am sacred.
i love.
i do.
and i trust.
sometimes too much.
sometimes in the wrong thing.
i regain focus.
i do not look
i see.
i do not hear
i listen.
i love.
because i can
and i want to.
and i always will.
thank you.

getting cast in life, and making the most of your duty station

originally written Monday, July 21, 2008 at 6:52pm

actor. sailor. I am both. and this week I realized that they are more similar than people may think. whether your duty station assigned by the Army, Air Force, Coast Guard, Marines, or Navy, you are assigned to a location, a team, and a job.
I was sent to Great Lakes, Illinois, onto Charleston, South Carolina, and then to Norfolk, Virginia. All three of those locations are Navy bases. I went to boot camp, I went through the Nuclear Powers Program, and I was stationed on my submarine. I make friends at each site. I have stories and memories that only those that were there will understand. People will hear about it, but it's only the truth for those of us that lived it.

I did plays in high school at Deer Valley High School and Holy Rosary Theatre. When I moved back in '05, I started doing shows at DVC, and now I'm in a show with Shotgun Players in Berkeley. Different groups of people, different shows, different chapters of my life. whether it was with my submarine, my church theatre group, my directing class, or at John Hinkel Park, I've made friends. I've learned, I've watched, and I've experienced. many times, integrating chapters of your life are difficult. my fellow submariners may never meet my friends from high school. some of my fellow actors from DVC may not meet my UBU castmates.

sailor, actor, or director, one idea rings true. when the objective is reached, whether it is for national security or public entertainment, when the curtain goes down, some of those people will never be seen again. you try and try to stay in touch. but at some point, 99% of the time, it fades. another chapter in your life has closed, and you're transferred to another duty station 3,000 miles away, or you're doing another show in a different part of the country. granted, the theatre community is much smaller, and staying in the Bay Area the term "mutual friend" is like taking a breath. in the military it isn't that common. Ubu for President opens in two weeks. seven weeks after that the show will be closed, we'll all be doing other shows, I'll be getting ready to direct a play at DVC, and you'll be off singing, dancing, and/or auditioning with your boyfriend, for somewhere else, maybe nearby, perhaps across the country.

everyone has chapters. I get that. but mine end quicker. and happen faster and more rapid succession than a lot a people I've met. maybe it's making up for lost time, or maybe it's just because, for some reason, I was built to handle it. or at least handle it, better than most.
I know another chapter is approaching soon, and well, that means this one will be closing. maybe this transition will be smoother, and maybe I'll bring more people with me from this chapter into the next. with Shotgun I've officially started to branch away from DVC, and with directing at DVC, I've opened up another side of myself that can be marketed and publicized just as much as I can acting, singing, dancing, and musicianing (?).
maybe I will go to Long Beach, or if I can afford it, perhaps I actually will be able to move home to the east coast. or maybe I'll stay around a little longer than I intended in the Bay Area and learn more from all the new people I have just met. who knows. I sure as hell don't, but as the fingers fly across the keyboard, and the pencil scribbles across the notebooks, the chapters will end and begin again. they've been doing that for almost 27 years, and well, I think I'm doing okay. we'll just have to see.

The Veteran: according to Marlon Deleon, EM2/SS

hey y'all. i haven't written anything in a while, and this is what came to mind as my fingers flew over the keyboard. 

"veteran: the most common usage is for former armed services personnel. A veteran is one who has served in the armed forces, especially one who has served in combat. It is especially applied to those who served for an entire career, usually of 20 years or more, but may be applied for someone who has only served one tour of duty. A common misconception is that one had to have either been in combat and/or has retired from active duty to be called a military veteran." 

Pasted from <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Veteran> 


Disclaimer: The following text is my opinion and by no means am I representing the opinions of everyone. I have no place to speak for everyone but for myself. These words may or may not reflect the opinions of people I know or associations I am affiliated with and I am not attempting to label them as such. 

I am a Veteran. I was enlisted in the United States Navy from July 1999 until September 2004 when I was medically discharged for a recurring shoulder injury. Basic Training was at RTC Great Lakes (or Great Mistakes, depending on who you talk to) and from there I was transferred to NNPTC South Carolina. I graduated from the Nuclear Powers Program as a third class Electrician's Mate with orders to the SSN-709, USS Hyman G Rickover, a now decommissioned Los Angeles Class Nuclear Submarine, on September 7, 2001. I left Charleston that night, driving back to California to stay for a month before I reported to my boat. I had not been back to California in about a year and a half, and when I arrived in the Antioch area, I stopped by my friend Angelina's house to see her before I came back to my parents' house. That was the night of 9/10/01. The next morning the world was changed because all of our lives changed, and my life was no different. The next two years were spent stationed in Norfolk, Virginia, but I was mostly out to sea. There are many stories about life on a submarine, and no matter how they get told, who tells them, or to whom they are being told, I do not think it is entirely possible to describe life on a sub to someone who has never experienced it themselves. Submariners will only truly understand this experience, and we are only one microculture of many in serving in the Armed Forces. 

Veterans are different. Different from those who have never gone in, and different from those that are still in. We were one way before we went in, we became something else while we served, and the person that re-enters society as a civilian (or reserve) is forever changed. We see things differently, smell things differently, touch things differently, hear things differently, and taste things differently. This is no one's fault, because it is not a bad thing. We're simply different. There are words and sounds that mean different things to us, sometimes good, sometimes bad. Gunshots, the roar of a jet flying by, boats, piers, firearms, medals, shoe polish, creases in clothes, alarms, the list goes on. Because of what we have been through, and each veteran's experience is uniquely different, these unintentional triggers evoke different feelings within us. I am no different. Certain images, comments, and sounds can cause flashbacks and produce levels of emotion that can possibly put me in a fragile state. There have been several instances in which I felt isolated as a result of my status as a Veteran. It is not the intention of the others and I'm willing to bet that they do not even know it occurs. A comment was made in one of my classes the other day about "don't ask, don't tell" and how if someone's in a foxhole and they know the guy next to them is gay, is that going to make a difference? plainly? Fuck no. When the shit hits the fan the last thing you don't have time to think about is someone's sexual orientation. Get real. I may not have been in the middle east or in a combat zone persay, but you can take that kinda shit outta here. I was on a submarine for two years, completely dissociated with the rest of the world for weeks at a time. No sunlight, emails, text messages, facebook, radio, or an array of other things that get taken for granted everyday like fresh eggs and real milk. Soldiers and sailors have a certain level of discipline and respect, and a work ethic that can only be attained through such rigorous training as we have experienced. Nearly every day I go to school I see older Veterans taking the bus to the VA hospital next door to campus. Many of them talk to themselves, sometimes unintelligibly, and some of them just sit there patiently, knowing the world is different. I am like them in some ways, and in some ways I am different. What I feel inside for those men and women I've seen on the bus is something that I can only hope a child will feel when I am older and sees me in whatever state the future brings upon me. 

Veterans Day is approaching in a few weeks, and it is observed to honor all the men and women that have served in the United States Armed Forces. A popular bumper sticker reads, "All gave some, some gave all" and it is 1,000% true. Whether someone was in for two years, eight years, or 32 years, we are all Veterans. We will always have a common bond, and even though many people do not agree with some of missions we have participated in (and some of those people are Veterans as well) most of the Veterans you could meet did not make the choices that sent us on those missions. We were a part of them because we enlisted. We enlisted to serve our country, to better ourselves, and to give back to a nation that gave us and our families something whether we recognize it or not. We stay in because we love it, because we don't know what else we would do if we got out, or because it sounds like a good idea. Some of us, like myself, didn't have a choice if they stayed in or not, and we have to deal with our lives as they are laid out. Whether you approve of the military or not, we are here. We always will be. This is not some pity party invitation or even a decree that you must worship the ground we walk on. This is just a notice that we are here and we're still people. I am one of those people. I ask questions when I'm confused or when I want to know more, and if you share that belief as well, then feel free to ask. There aren't many things I won't tell you, especially in regards to my military upbringing, but sometimes I feel like we can understand each other better if we figure out how we are different. Just ask. I will.