PBDC Day 24/31: One of a Kind

This is my class ring.

Here's a look from the other side.

California State University, Long Beach. Class of 2011. Bachelor's of Arts in Theatre Arts-Performance, with an emphasis in Directing.

I couldn't tell you why I've wanted a class ring since high school, but I have. I think it's tied to me being a first-generation American in my family and hearing about how letterman jackets and class rings are often handed down as mementos of family tradition, but I'm unsure if that's exactly it. Well, high school came and went, without the letterman or class ring to show for it. After confirming my acceptance to Long Beach State, I knew that I would definitely be leaving college with two items-a diploma and a class ring.

I don't ever remember being a fan of yellow gold, and I've never really been attracted to the traditional sunburst design of class rings that remind of me of mafia dons and high-ranking clergy. So I opted for the rectangle-cut, shiny, smooth onyx (also because my birthstone isn't the appealing of colors) with basic engraving on the side. There were plenty of other graduates that year who were conferred B.A.'s in Theatre Arts, and as to make it unequivocally mine, I had my name engraved on the inside. (Added incentive, it may not take as long as this guy's ring did to get back to him.)

I didn't go to college right after high school. I spent more than four years working towards my degree. And I paid for college primarily with my own military service through the GI Bill. So yeah, my class ring is a tangible reminder of success through my own path. There are many like it, but this one is mine. #riflemanscreed #usmc #oneflagoneteam

PBDC 23/31: I'm Loving

When it came time to pick which foreign language path I was to traverse in high school, I chose French. Living in California, this was in the minority opinion with such a high Spanish-speaking population. But, I did get an opportunity to use my developing bilingual skills while still in high school. I believe it was the summer of '98, and I was blessed with the amazing opportunity to join my church youth group on a trip to Italy.

We had a considerable layover in Paris, and I got to order everyone's food. Somewhere in between a fractured request for a tuna sandwich and more sodas, this is what happened (in French, but in English, for your enjoyment):

Pierre (or whatever his name was): I don't mean to be rude, but why is the Asian speaking French and not the white people?

Me: Because we're from California, and more students take Spanish classes than French. I'm the only one in the group that is taking French.

Pierre: Interesting. Well, thank you for learning our language.

I didn't do much with French after high school, with the exception of a random phrase here or there whenever speaking a foreign language comes up in conversation. J'aime les pommes de terre. (I like potatoes.)

Just over a couple months ago I heard about Duolingo. It's a free app that sets you up with bite-sized lessons in Spanish, French, German, Italian, and Portuguese. I haven't yet cracked any lessons in French, because I chose to start down the path of Espanol since I now have reasons for it to be useful--customer service at work.

I haven't yet used it at work but I have found it wonderfully simple to find a few minutes each day to squeeze in a little Spanish homework. Go ahead, say it, "you can't teach an old dog new tricks," but I'm not one to consider myself old, and learning is learning whatever your age is. Je suis un ananas. (I am a pineapple.)

It's fun more days than not, and the biggest challenge has been learning in a different style than what I've normally preferred, but it's still awesome. I've learned more than a few words, and have been able to successfully string together sentences instead of just regurgitating phrases I've memorized.

Yo no leo los diarios. (I don't read  newspapers.)

¿Tu bebes cervezas? (Do you drink beer?)

El sombrero azul es para mi abuela. (The blue hat is for my grandma.)

I don't think this is all part of me having "school withdrawals" or subconsciously regretting not going into grad school after finally achieving B.A. status, I think it's just my desire to want to always be learning something. Anyone that says that don't need to learn anything else is essentially saying they know everything, or at least everything they need to know. Either way, that's not my preferred attitude, and I hope I never get to where I'm thinking that myself.

Bonjour, Je m'appelle Marlon. (Hello, my name is Marlon.)

Yo no duermo en una cuna. (I don't sleep in a crib.)

Merci, et bonsoir.

Gracias, y buenas noches.

Photo and Blog a Day Challenge-Day 27/28: In Love With

The first school play I was ever in was in the fifth grade, and it was a class play (meaning everyone in the class was in it). It had an educational theme to it, being set in a classroom and pertaining to much of the curriculum that year--states and capitals. Despite my enthusiasm for the production, I was not given the opportunity for a lead role since my teacher did not believe I could focus enough to learn all the lines. So I had one of the smallest roles in the show, a boy named Jimmy Johnson (maybe that's really why I don't like the Lowe's 48 #NASCAR #StandWithSmoke), and my first line in the play was, "I'll say!"

When I was in high school I landed my first lead role-with the church theatre group-and I later found out that I wasn't cast based on talent, but because I was the only male that fit the lead's character description. With my high school drama program I was cast in my first musical, Little Shop of Horrors, and although I felt my nerdiness made me a lock for the lead of Seymour, I was cast to appear onstage as an unnamed supporting role ("Wino) in the opening number, but then sat in the orchestra pit to be the voice of the plant, Audrey II. At five feet, two inches tall, and about 120 pounds soaking wet, most audiences didn't believe that such a little guy supplied the booming voice for the alien plant--but I did. Well.

Through my time at Diablo Valley College I was blessed with an array of works to perform with: Shakespeare's MacBeth, Moliere's The Imaginary Invalid, an original Greek work by Nicole Hess-Diestler and Zach Diestler called Iphigenia at Aulis. There were numerous scene studies, or Brown Bags as we'd call them, where I was given great opportunities to delve into pieces by John Patrick Shanley (Frankie and Johnny), Emily Mann (The Execution of Justice), David Rabe (Hurlyburly). And there were even a couple of musicals, Bat Boy, a contemporary rock musical, and Some Enchanted Evening, a Rodgers and Hammerstein revue.

At Cal State Long Beach I played a cholo (Los Lobos de la Noche), an Indian boy (A Chance, an original piece by Chetan Sanathara), a Shakespearean father (Gentlemen Redux), and a gay man (Our Lady of 121st Street).

With the shows that I have been fortunate enough to be in, I've been challenged and stretched and corraled and set free. And even with my tattoos (which are something many of my theatre classmates considered to be taboo or too cumbersome to have to work around), I didn't have to cover them up in as nearly many shows as I was asked to show them off. Actually, for my role in Los Lobos they actually added more tattoos. And through all of this: Shakespeare, Greek, Moliere, cholo, Indian, gay, original pieces, I never had to be naked onstage. In a piece I directed, The Big Funk, by Shanley, one of my actors had to be naked, and I mean fully naked, no socks, dance belts, or nothing, but I myself had never been naked on stage.

Being naked is a scary thing for many people. Taking a shower or bath is probably the one thing that most people can be comfortable doing naked. Yes, I omitted sex, because 1. you don't have to be completely naked (#socks #shirts) and 2. being this intimate with someone doesn't necessarily mean you're absolutely comfortable with being naked.

So that leaves showertime as the singular occasion of being comfortable with nakedness.

I write quite a bit about positivity, especially in regards to loving one's self, and although it probably won't come as a surprise, I feel it to be a strong gesture to say it explicitly. I'm not always happy with my body.

In more bathrooms than not, stepping out of the shower usually places me face to face with the mirror above the sink. Nothing like starting your day with a vigorously hot shower, reviving you from your slumber, only to be slapped in the face by, well, your face...above your naked body. This is typically not the best feeling. 

But recently, I've been better about accepting my awesomeness and being happy with who I am. How much better? I took a picture of myself after I got out of the shower today.

With my hair messy and still a little bit wet, unkempt eyebrows center stage, I took a picture of myself at a time when I would normally not want anyone to see me. But today I do. Because I love who I am and I'm in love with myself. Not in a narcissistic way, but in a way that is in reply to, "If you don't love yourself, why should anyone else be?"

I'm a pretty hairless guy. Have you ever seen me with a mustache? Or a goatee with some sweet chops to frame it? Nope. And my hairless back (which I'm not complaining about) pictured above is right in line with my unmanly (by stereotypical standards) hairless chest.

This commercial was a nice reminder that every style is ok. Thanks, Genesis. #CallMe

The tattooed cat is out of the bag, and my upper back tattoos are now for everyone to see in all its bloggy glory. Kanjis for "wisdom" (Connecticut) and "loyalty" (Virginia), an anchor-inspired Sagittarius symbol (NorCal), and a modification of the Alexander Pope quotation, "To err is human, to forgive divine." (Montana).

I used to think that tattoos helped to draw attention away from parts of my body that I did not wish to show off (especially in my beach bum days when all I wore was a hat and a pair of board shorts), but I have since then refocused my appreciation for my ink as I became a curator of my own gallery. The tattoos on my skin are like patches on a cruise jacket-symbolizing deployments, missions, and battle groups.

Being on stage naked was something that many of us talked about in school, mostly in a fearful light. Just thinking about all those people and making eye contact with them afterwards knowing that they saw you in such an adulterated manner without reciprocation. But with live theatre, after the moment it's gone. With photography, that moment is frozen in time forever. 

But what good is a moment unless it's shared with others. So I wanted to share it with everyone (thanks to body positioning and framing a tasteful shot).

I am in love with myself. That's the healthiest, most fulfilling love anyone can have, and everyone should.

Photo and Blog a Day Challenge-Day 11/28: Two.

Two. Not a difficult prompt since I live with my wife. But finding something I want to capture in a photo was a little more challenging. Two chairs. Two mini tables. Two bookshelves. Pairs of shoes. Two towels. And then I saw them. Our toothbrushes.

One blue. One pink. Objects so simple and relatively small, but powerful and indicative of what I wanted to say.

One blue. One pink. One for my wife. One for myself.

Of course there are plenty of things that are shared. Things that don't come in pairs.

One refrigerator. One stove. One water pitcher. One dishwasher. One washer. One dryer. One bathroom. One shower. One bedroom. One bed.

One husband. One wife.

And each of us have our own pairs.

Eyes. Ears. Cheeks. Nostrils. Arms. Hands. Legs. Feet.

Feet. Each of us have a pair of feet.

In one couple, there are two individuals.

For each individual, there are two feet.

So although we stand together, we do not always lean. We stand on our own. There are obviously times when I lean on her and she on me, but as long as one of us can stand strong on our own two feet, then we do not both fall. Although we are a unit together, we must not lose our identities and individuality. (Within the word "individuality" is "duality." Interesting.)

I can remember a time, a few times actually, in the Navy, high school, junior high, and even back to elementary school when either myself or someone I know would say that there's a hole in their heart or life and that they "need someone to complete them." Maybe you've thought it yourself, maybe not, but you've probably heard it somewhere. Perhaps in a movie where someone's crying in the rain saying that they can't think of life without the other. Or where someone returns from a self-inflicted absence saying they were not whole when they were away from the other.

I love love as much as the next open soul, but we need to cut that shit out.

Love yourself before you can love another. Learn to love openly before you love exclusively. Love without boundaries. Love your life that you make for yourself. Love yourself that you make for yourself.

Love yourself.

Because if you don't, love from another is almost a waste of time. Yours and theirs. Not saying they still won't, but you're simply cheating yourself of what the love really could be.

Love yourself.

Two is better than one, but to have two, you need two ones.

So become one before you can become one.

Be one in love with yourself before you can become one with someone else.

It's easy to feel appreciated by other people. It's easily recognizable when others praise you and compliment you. But how often do you do that with yourself? How often do you praise yourself? How often do you compliment yourself?

How often do you love yourself?

Don't confuse someone loving you with loving yourself. And it's horribly easy to mix up. When someone is giving you all their time, praising you, caring for you, honoring you, appreciating you, it's like you don't even have to do any work to feel good about yourself. But when it's gone. Or even when it disappears for a few minutes, you can feel it. And you become addicted because you've created a dependency for yourself. The need to feel loved by others.

Depending on who you are, feeling loved or appreciated by others can be easy to find. But the more you blind yourself with the "happiness" you think you're living in because of the compliments and free drinks and jewelry and shopping trips, the more it'll crush you when it isn't there.

Now take this out of love relationships context.

Friendships. Family relationships. Professional relationships. Any type of relationship where you interact with another person. It still applies.

Love yourself.

Loving yourself allows you to be a better friend. A better son or daughter. A better husband, wife, sister, brother, uncle, or aunt. A better leader. A better follower.

Love yourself and you release yourself of the addiction for validation, praise, and attention. Love yourself and you will see more clearly. The tasks at hand. The people around you. The things you really should be focusing on. Your safety. Your family. Your advancement.

Love yourself so there can be two.

Two ones in a pair.
Two feet on the ground.

Two sides of the brain and two hands to type collaborated to create the words that two eyes will read these words as one.

Two.

And by the way, the pink one is mine.

Back to School!

So it’s Back to School season, and for the first time in [mumble, censor] years, I’m not getting ready for classes or working at a campus prepping for the onslaught of stampeding parents and new students.

I have been, however, shoulder deep in Back to School retail, and have been witnessing the masses purchase stacks upon stacks of…not books…but pants and polo shirts in navy blue, white, khaki, black, sky blue, and cardigans, and backpacks. (This almost turned into a post about wanting children, which would be fitting since this is the first time I’ve blogged since I’ve gotten married, ah thank you very much, but that wasn’t the goal. Another time.)

A few folks from the village are heading off to college, as is the younger brother of my best friend back in NorCal (high five, EJ!) and at a college send off party/fiesta, we went around the table and shared our bits of college advice. That really got me thinking about starting college, and being a couple years after the diploma (and still without the itch to start grad school), it felt a bit refreshing to think back on that first semester at community college and then at the transfer to The Beach (Go Beach!).

College is an interesting adventure—everyone’s experience is different, there are varying goals, definitions of success, and multiple ways to go about it. (How did this just become a post about losing your virginity? I’ll say it again…Another time. Maybe)

You probably already know to always wear sunscreen, so I’ll share some nuggets that I may have scribbled inside a locker, under the bleachers, or backstage behind the fly system ropes (high five for techies!)

1. Don’t register for a class before 10am.

2. If you need help learning about it or how to do it, there’s probably an office on campus that can help you with it. (Yes, even that.)

3. Skipping class gets easier each time you do it, so be careful.

4. Practice makes perfect (and yes, this applies to beer pong).

5. Your friends know you’re lying when you say, “I’m never doing THAT again.”

6. Sometimes you can buy books for cheaper from folks who took that class last semester.

7. You don’t need all your books on the first day.

8. Carry extra scantrons.

9. Study groups are awesome, but choose your study buddies wisely.

10. Take notes, if not to review later…to keep yourself active to stay awake.

11. Don’t be afraid to talk to your professors, they’re people too.

12. Take advantage of career centers/counselors, there’s nothing like finding out you’re short on credits when you think you’re walking with your friends next semester.

13. You define your goals.

14. Decide why you’re going to college: A—to get a degree that will leverage your job hunt. B—to follow an academic program in a discipline that you enjoy and find interesting. C—mommy and daddy said to. D—all of the above

15. People will judge your major. Whether you’re going into the arts, engineering, writing, or whatever. It’s your degree with your name on it, so follow a path you want to be on (see #14).

16. If there’s a pub on campus, don’t be afraid. It isn’t there to sidetrack your education, it’s there to hang out with (and meet) friends.

17. Do more than go to class and take tests.

18. Go to sporting events.

19. Join a club.

20. Be friends with your roommate(s).

21. Don’t move in with someone just because you’re friends. There’s a lot more to living together than you think (especially if you’re moving into a place for the first time).

22. Don’t be afraid to cry—it’s your body letting off some energy you don’t need to hold onto.

23. Hug at least five people every day.

24. Compliment people you don’t know when you’re walking by.

25. See a theatrical production on campus.

26. Smile—you’re taking advantage of an education that many dream of.

27. Don’t be afraid to make new friends.

28. Know that your circle of friends will change. It’s ok.

29. Take breaks.

30. Cramming isn’t for everyone.

31. Learn about your school and take some pride in it.

32. Don’t take everything as law, you may get tossed some false information from upperclassmen.

33. Don’t be afraid to ask questions.

34. Call home.

35. Visit your friends.

36. Don’t force yourself to come home if you don’t want to.

37. BUDGET.

38. Research scholarships

39. Find a get away spot on campus. A quiet corner, special bench, or long hallway, somewhere where you can be you for five minutes when it gets crazy.

40. Eat.

41. Drink water.

42. Get there early. Especially if you’re looking for parking.

43. Don’t feel bad about going to a community college first.

44. Be honest with yourself, if a class isn’t working out (for whatever reason: the teacher, the time slot, the material), don’t be afraid to drop it and find another course that fulfills the requirement (if available).

45. Be honest with yourself. (Yes, this deserves repeating, especially for just general understanding.)

46. Bring snacks.

47. One day (but hopefully more than once), you may find yourself on campus around sunrise or sunset before it’s riddled with people. It’ll be quiet, peaceful, and it’ll be one of the calmest moments you’ll have that semester. Stop where you are and take a breath. Remember this moment for later when it isn’t so calm.

48. Take pictures.

49. Make lists.

Quikrete: Foundation

You know, as in cement, or was it a spin off for what I titled in my head "Quick write"?

It's now both. What started as an itch to post a "quick write," I thought of Quikrete (and several bags that sat in the garage growing up), which led to cement...and a foundation.

I've been learning a lot since graduation last May, and as my fiancee approaches her graduation in three fortnights, it's amazing to think I've been done with school for almost a year.

Quikrete. Foundation. Moving on.

I turned 18 after I graduated from boot camp. I enlisted in March of my senior year in high school, and left for boot camp less than two months after crossing that stage as part of the first ever graduating class of Deer Valley High School, Antioch, CA.

Having served in the Navy for 5 years and now having been conferred a Bachelor's degree, I can now reflect and compare the process of both paths. 

1. I thoroughly enjoyed both chapters.
2. Neither path was a cakewalk, but that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy the journey. See #1.
3. From my first full semester at DVC, I was glad I went into the Navy right out of high shcool.
4. Through my final semester at CSULB, I was glad I went into the Navy right out of high school.
5. While in the Navy, I had a CO tell me I was too immature to holder a senior position.
6. While in college, I had a director tell me I took my job as an actor too seriously.
7. Thanks to the Navy, I developed a work ethic with respect and understanding for superiors and rankings.
8. Thanks to the Navy, I learned not to be afraid of superiors, regardless of rank, as long as I addressed them with respect for their rank in regards to my own.
9. Thanks to my time the Navy and in college, I developed my work ethic, discovered talents and strengths, and gained confidence in my work to where I no longer felt necessary to hide behind a smile like I did through high school.
10. One year out of college, and I'm starting to feel like the confidence, work ethic, and foundation I built from the Navy and forged through the diploma isn't right.

Before and after.

• Before: Address with respect to the rank/title first, with consideration for the personality second.
• After: Address the personality you're dealing with first,  with consideration for the rank second (if it all).

• Before: Seniority paralleled rank/experience.
• After: Seniority trumped rank or experience.

• Before: Work out issues with a fight, over a couple beers, and show up the next day ready to work.
• After: Let it stew, complain to HR, attribute it to personality issues and not really fix anything.

I've said it plenty of times in the last year, but I never thought that being in the Navy would be easier, less complicated, and have less drama to deal with.

For whatever reasons, the foundation that I've set does not offer solid footing for my current situation. I never thought respect for higher ranks (including, but not limited to honest, tactful criticism/conversation) would be wrong or discouraged, but I genuinely feel like it's not the way it works.

This, among other things, means it's time to go, and go I shall.

To the Deer Valley High School class of 1999

tonight is the ten year reunion for Deer Valley High School's inaugural graduating class of 1999. that would make this the first ten year reunion for DVHS. it's going to be in Walnut Creek, and ill be in Long Beach, well, ill be in Santa Monica for a little bit, but ill be going back home to Long Beach. I don’t feel bad for not going. I simply couldn’t afford it. the ticket. the travel. yep. that’s about it. even if I could afford it, I don’t think I would have gone. the past few months on facebook ive gotten back in touch with many people from high school that I havent heard from in ages. granted, we graduated ten years ago, and all of a sudden with this reunion, people have been coming out of nowhere and re-establishing connections on facebook. well, that kinda answers at least half if not all of a purpose of a reunion. see how everyone's doing, look at how people have changed, find out who: got married, had kids, got divorced, came out, made it big, bottomed out, turned themselves out, or any combination of the aforementioned results. let's pretend for a moment that facebook and myspace didn’t exist and that we didn’t get back in touch here. we havent seen each other, talked or anything. the following could be an actual conversation from the reunion. I will enter *** as a spacer for whomever I have run into. you can pretty much figure out what they're asking...

note: in no way is this posting a mockery of the reunion. if anything I would like to commend carlo, colette, nadia, and anyone else that helped in putting together this event. congratulations c/o '99. if you're reading this, you're still alive.

you: marlon? is that you?

me: oh, hey! (insert name here) {hug/manhug} whats going on? {cheers/toasts drinks}

***

me: yeah, im drinking. I actually grew up. how about that. ten years have gone by, and whaddya know? I actually changed. and I smoke cigarettes too. and ill tell you something else {leans in} im not a virgin anymore.

you: NO! {laughing}

me: yup. what have you been up to?

you: ***

me: awesome.

you: ***

me: um, no. navy, but close. yeah. I went in right after graduation, school for a couple years in south carolina, graduated from Nuc school sept 7, 2001 and drove home to california. got home the night of sept 10th.

you: ***

me: {continuing} yeah, no shit right? had leave for a month, flew out to meet my submarine in scotland. went to norway, back to scotland.

you: ***

me: I got out in sept of '04. medical discharge. {glances away} oh hey! what's up? we'll do shots later! alright…yeah!

you: ***

me: yeah, disclocated both of my shoulders multiple times over a couple years. still sucks. fighting to get surgery, but the GI Bill is helping me with college.

you: ***

me: yeah, im at CSU Long Beach now. got back into theatre when I moved back to california after my ex fiancee and i…

you: ***

me: yeah. second fiancee actually. yep. twice engaged, never married. no kids either. and no STIs {chuckles} can you believe it? me. single.

you: ***

me: yeah. AND straight. how bout that, right? {rolls eyes} cool, well alright, it was good catching up, im gonna go grab another drink and have that same conversation about 20 more times. cool! you too! yeah, ill hit you up on facebook or myspace whatever. fo sho! {hug/manhug} later!

{end of conversation}

granted, there will be differences here and there, but for the most part, there's the template for a reunion conversation. we're caught up on the major events, and we're onto the next person we havent talked to in years, and probably wont after this evening. for those that have kept in touch. yay! and for those that we will continue to keep in touch…double yay! everyone else. im not gonna lie to you and tell you that ill keep in touch, because we all know it isnt gonna happen and 98% of the times it's said at the reunion are just because we're supposed to say it, and not because we really mean it.

so yeah, for those of you that run into people at the reunion may possibly ask about me, tell them to hit me up here. give em my URL, email or whatevs, they're all similar: dailyownx4 (deleon, times 4: actor, director, singer and dancer) gmail. yahoo. myspace, facebook. drop a line! say hello, and if you're living in so cal, we should hang out sometime!

alright, well chat soon ok? keep in touch!

-marlon

decade

july 29, 1999 I got the phone call. 

in march of my senior year ('99) I enlisted in the Navy, scheduled to leave in Oct. in may I requested to leave early; asap after my high school graduation. they told me that they would submit this request, under the circumstance that I was ok with having as little as 24hrs notice to ship out. done and done. it was a thursday morning, a month and a half after marking my spot in history as being a part of Deer Valley High School's inaugural graduating class, and my mother stood in my doorway, waking me up to tell me I have a phone call. 

"you're recruiter is on the phone." 

still groggy, "huh? what? paul?" and it suddenly hits me. I spring out of bed and dash downstairs to the phone on the wall unit in the living room, as I catch my reflection in the mirror, my self-bleached hair (which was more orange than blonde) was every which way but awake. it's about 0730 hours and he asks if im ready. 

"um, yeah. yes. yeah I'll go." 

"ill be over in twenty to pick you up." 

"cool, bye." 

and I set the receiver down on the cradle and looked up into the mirror- I am finally outta here. in twenty minutes, IC2(SW) Paul Breiterman arrived at my house, obviously my mom was awake, but I think that was about it. I triumphantly got in the front seat and we drove to MEPS Oakland. After a little hang up with some paperwork involving my middle name (or lack thereof) I was ready to swear in, this is when they give me the news. I had the choice of leaving at any point that weekend. I didn’t have to go right then, turns out my swearing in was good enough for the numbers game, but I could fly out monday if I wanted to. so I chose monday, aug 2, 1999. I figured, I know when im leaving, might as well take a couple days to say g'bye to some folks, and that’s exactly what I did. I spent very little time in my house that weekend, and well, there wasn’t much notification id give my parents if I was going to, what were they going to do anyway, kick me out? ive already got that planned, thank you. 

today is july 29, 2009. this coming monday is aug 3, 2009. almost to the day, ten years ago, I embarked on a journey that would forever change my life. a sense of freedom and independence was given to me in that envelope that carried my orders to NTC Great Lakes, I was 17 years old. that freedom was limited by military restrictions and codes of conduct. this time, im leaving antioch yet again, to embark on another chapter that could very well determine the majority of the rest of my life. there is an even bigger sense of freedom and independence this time around, but im more a master of my wits and desires than I was at 17, absolutely, but this is a different world. In the military if you didn’t show up they'd drag you there, here, they'll let you slide, they'll let you hang yourself. that’s the real stuff right there, the world that needs self motivation and drive. check. 

sometimes I have a hard time realizing it has been ten years since then, I know ive experienced a lot, good and bad, tears both of laughter and sadness, coast to coast, sober and smashed, I was there. I often say that going into the Navy was the best decision ive ever made in my life thus far, and I wholly mean that. Going to CSULB will probably rank up there as well, ill let you know in two years when I send out commencement event announcements ;) 

if history works in cycles, then ive found when it repeats. ten years. until the next cycle starts, stay tuned, because if this round is even as half as exciting and trying as this past one was, then we're in for a hell of a ride. 

-marlon