Facebook is like a brother to me

Facebook, you're a funny thing.

And not in a funny, humorous, "Am I a clown, do I amuse you?" kind of way, but in a fickle friend, somebody-please-give-me-a-warning-if-you're-having-a-bad-day way.

Blogging and tweeting are similar, but not in as personal a way as Facebook is.

For example, a couple years ago I remember talking to my friend about how we love Taco Bell so much and how if we were a Taco Bell menu item we would be _________.

This spurred a Facebook status post asking "If you were a Taco Bell menu item, what would you be?"

I'd say in about two hours there were 50+ comments and at least 75 likes.

BUT

When I share something about Support the Arts, or pose a question of something, dare I say, serious or (for fear of sounding condescending or snooty) intellectual, I'll maybe get three likes and people rarely comment on it to share an opinion or have a conversation about it.

Occasionally, when I see someone else's status and it pertains to something I don't agree with, or would like to learn more about, or have some opinion on in any way, I tend to keep scrolling because who likes getting into actual conversations or (the horror!) an online argument.

I totally get that, by nature, most of us are non-confrontational, but does that mean we can't have conversations through our laptops and smart phones? I know that having a round table discussion about marriage equality, abortion, vaccines, immigration, politics, or whatever can be intense for many people because of volume, interruptions, eye contact, body temperature...whatever physiological reactions may occur, but online you're safe behind your computer wherever you're typing. No one can interrupt you, and you have as much time as you need to think things out, present them rationally, and breathe through whatever nervousness you have.

I guess what I really mean is...

Why have we drifted so far away from actually talking to each other? And why have Like buttons and Shares claimed plots in our land of communication skills?

And why has social media become such a factor in sharing feelings, asking questions, relationships, jobs, and essentially every aspect in life whether it's interpersonal, individual, happy or sad, joyous or sadness?

Why is it so simple for friends/followers to Like, Share, RT or double tap for like anything devoid of emotional response or critical thinking, but when there's an actual discussion that could be had where questions could be asked, viewpoints can be shared, and knowledge can be exchanged, we clear the road like a wild west duel at high noon?

Maybe this is more a question for Facebook programmers' algorithms for News Feed sharing. How do you decide what's important to share in my friends' feeds? Is anything relating to food, sports, or pop culture highlighted? Is it based on #NowTrending topics? Or is there a filter that actually hides posts with emotional/inquisitive words like "feel" or "help" or "why?"

Facebook, you're like a brother to me.

But in the way that I know "brother" as I was raised and not as I learned to use the word brother as in "my brothers were in my wedding party" or "I served aboard a submarine with my brothers".

You're like the older kid that lives in the house with me but doesn't really talk to me. You're that guy that is  used as a model for excellence for when I screw up, and as someone who takes credit for when I succeed. I share with you in hopes of conversation, but all you really want to know is what I had for lunch, how many games of Words With Friends I'm playing, and how many other social media apps you can follow me on.

You don't really care that I have a job, as long as you know I have one. Nor do you really care what's on my mind, how I'm feeling, what I'm watching, eating, reading, listening to, or what. You don't what to know why anything is going on, but more so just what.

Or maybe this is really about people I think I connect with on Facebook.

So I'm taking back control of my life online as I am taking back control of my life in the sunlight with my feet on the ground and the warmth on my face. I'm not worried about Likes or Shares or updating my information or if you care how many firsts, or places I've been, or relationship status, or hometown, whatever.

I'm calling the shots. I write my own chapters. I ask my own questions. But if you really care what Taco Bell item I am, then ask someone else. I'm a Sonic Chicago dog with cheese tots and a strawberry limeade. I'm a fresh funnel cake with powdered sugar on top--straight up classic no frills. I'm a chocolate Frosty with fries on a summer day while you sit on the curb with sweat dripping down your calf from the back of your knee.

And yeah, if you care, I love my job as a Service and Training Manager at Old Navy. My hometown is TBD because home is home wherever it is. But I was raised in Oakland and Antioch, California. I don't specify that as my singular hometown, though. The LBC is also my home. As is VB back east. And does it really matter if I select Separated, Single, or Divorced? Because anyone that really wants to know could probably have a better conversation with me than your drop down menu.

My life is my life and sometimes I'm more raw and open about it than some people are ready for.

But the cool thing about social media--whether it's a blog like this, or a tweet, or a Facebook status--is that it's like leaving a postcard on the floor of a club. Most people will probably step on it or over it, but every once in a while, something will catch someone's eye and they may read it.  Someone may even pick it up and share it with someone.

Whatever happens to it, I got it out in the open, and for me, that makes it more real. That puts my thoughts down "on paper," for public consumption, and I stand behind what I say. That's really me. And as much as I don't fulfill the stereotype for musical-loving theatre geek...

Take me or leave me.

Photo and Blog a Day Challenge-Day 2/28: Dark

Not as insightful, abstract, or thought-provoking as I'd like to have, but I haven't even left the house today, and with the big game on tonight I didn't want to miss the opportunity to post for today.

Yes, I love dark chocolate. This is some of the darkest I've had, and it's still pretty enjoyable. My wife wanted to try a piece and she said in response, "What's the point? Why even it it?"

I think I like dark chocolate for two main reasons:
1. I'm partially lactose intolerant so too much milk-chocolatey goodness isn't good later on
2. Less people like the dark variety so that's more for me.

I've had plenty of dark thoughts today, and a few instances where I've seen some cool shadows and ideas, but as I broke off a square for a little treat, it couldn't have been more obvious.

In the grand scheme of events today, this is about as tiny as tiny can get, with the Super Bowl kicking off in about three hours and also with the recent announcement of Philip Seymour Hoffman's death by apparent overdose.

As with any other celebrity, my Facebook News Feed has been flooded with RIP Phil and saddened statuses (stati?), but additionally, having a theatre background and having many actor friends, some of which have actually met and interacted with him, some posts are  more thoughtful than others.

What starts to make me sad is the fact that social media has given the media, and in turn, us as individuals, an opportunity to play "I'm first!" often to the neglect of personal space and humanity.

Say your relative just died, no matter how close or distant, and all of a sudden your social media feeds started flowing with RIP John/Jane Doe...

Before you tear into me, relax, I get that celebrities, by nature of their careers are thrust into the public eye and that their every move is scrutinized (#Bieber #Miley #Brangelina) but at what point do we as people recognize an innate emotional need for some leeway, privacy, or dare I say the "R" word...respect?

I'm sure somewhere there are publicists and family members hoping that the big game holds its ground as the biggest story of the day, and that millions of "adoring fans" who are "humbled, saddened, torn, decimated," or however they describe it in their respective posts take a few seconds to realize that there is somebody much closer to them who just wants their time to grieve with those they choose to be consoled by/with.

Yes, the passing of any individual is tragic, regardless of how their number came up, but don't pretend like Mr Hoffman was your Godfather, cousin, or neighbor. He probably wasn't.

So try respecting the world more and stop trying to be the first like/comment on a post, trolls.

Why don't you spend some more time enjoying the time you have with people you don't spend enough time with?

That's something I want to spend more time on. Hanging out with cool folks and positive energy.

I just wanted to get this all out first. Now I'm gonna go get ready for a Super Bowl party.

Go Broncos! #ImWithManning