Photo and Blog a Day Challenge-Day 19/28: Help

A police car on the side of freeway is an unofficial invitation to peer into someone else's trouble. A traffic jam caused by a major wreck may leave you temporarily stranded in your vehicle, but you probably have your cell phone to keep you busy...in your fully-operational vehicle, while you sit in a relatively healthy state not worrying about fatal injuries hoping the ambulance gets there on time. (Just something to think about when you're stuck in a jam and you can't see what's ahead.)

And sometimes, the flashing lights align for some coincidental art.

On one hand, you drove here to see a show, some entertainment, and there's a good chance there will be some sort of explosion or fiery spectacle involved. On the other, you know that the emergency vehicles are there because they're responding to an actual incident, but your curiosity has invited you to a show before the show.

Help is versatile beast. You can search for it, and it can arrive unannounced. It can be shared by many, but it can also be personalized. Help can come into your life in long and short durations, as friendships, mentorships, or flash experiences.

And for many, it can be one of the scariest things to ask for. It can be interpreted as a sign of weakness, an indication of a lack of knowledge, or an admission of vulnerability.

Sometimes, it's still difficult to ask for help, but over time I've learned to look at a call for help as an instance of awareness and desire for growth.

That's really what it is. A desire for growth. When you've hit a wall or have arrived at an incline so steep that you cannot grip enough to climb higher. When you need that bump, that helping hand, the boost to help you break through.

That's why I've asked for help before, and that's why I continue to. When turning to the bottle became an addiction. When couch time is the only option I could think of. When I refused to leave my house and take on the world again. When I was so far back in my cave that I thought of love to be such a waste of time.

Growing up as a first-generation American to Filipino parents, there was a lot of talk of pride and reputation and having to work four times as hard as white people, or women, or anyone else, and because of this, asking for help was something shunned because it was regarded as a sign of weakness.

The other day I shared an article from the Huffington Post commenting that we can't afford to be naive. I strongly believe that. Through education and honest, mature conversation, we can all learn more and better arm ourselves to take on the struggles and situations that we are faced with. Through honesty we learn more about each other and ourselves, reinforcing (or in some cases establishing) a sense of cohesion.

...

This is not a passive aggressive cry for help. This is me throwing in the towel for the blog of the day, because for reasons I have yet to sort, my mind is all over the place.

In an attempt to learn from this experience...

Having taken photos and written a blog for each one for every day so far this month, I'm patting myself on the back for sticking it the Photo and Blog a Day Challenge I imposed on myself. When this much writing happens, with very little planning and an array of prompts, there will definitely good days and bad days. Today is one of those bad days. (Or, as I learned in my Duolingo app the other day, Hoy no es mi dio.)

Like NaNoWriMo shared in the last few hours of November as we all approached the midnight deadline, "write all the crap. just write."

And so, even though it's rough, I'm 19 for 19 in the month February. 

Here's to a new day tomorrow.

Photo and Blog a Day Challenge-Day 17/28: On My Mind

Facebook, you never cease to amaze me. It's like  you know I'm doing this Photo and Blog a Day Challenge. Oh, wait. If you can tell when people are about to get in a relationship, and you share all my posts for me, you definitely do know.

 But do you really want to know what's on my mind? And even if you do, does everyone else? That's the interesting thing about social media, it allows us to stay "connected" but it simultaneously enables us to remain distant. Status posts let us know what's going on in our Facebook friends' lives without actually interacting with them. Twitter lets us toss 140 character post it notes on a perpetual conveyer belt for anyone to look at at any time. Instagram gives us the ability to share things we see, or want others to see. Blogs, like my own, gives writers a plot of land in the electronic fields to sow our own creative seeds.

And when is the last time someone asked you that question? The answer is, probably the last time you greeted someone. At work, at school, in a restaurant, it happens all the time. We just brush it off though.

A: How's it going?

B: Fine. You?

A: Good.

And we've moved on.

How about this situation? Have you pictured this? Because I have. Several times.

A: How's it going?

B: Sucks. I don't know what I'm doing. I like my classes, but I'm scared about what kind of job to even look for when I graduate. I'm kind of looking for jobs now, but I've been spending more time going out and trying to get drunk and laid to distract me from my frustration with my Philosophy teacher who is boring as hell.

A: (eyes wide, jaw-dropped)


B: And then my mom calls me to tell me I never call her, and that dad works all the time because he's trying to pay for my loans that are paying for the education that I don't know what I'm going to do with. Are you hungry? I really want pizza, but I'm too busy trying not to get fat.

A: OKAY STOP! I DIDN'T REALLY WANT TO KNOW.

So why do we ask? Why do you say what you say? Do you care how they're doing when you ask? Would you even know how to listen?

What's interesting is that people are probably more honest with their Facebook statuses than they are with people they see every day. Maybe you aren't. But maybe you spend more time talking to your bartender, co-worker, or sister more than you do your husband, mother, or manager. Are you speaking up for yourself? Do you listen to others when they need an ear?

I'm not throwing the first stone. But I will offer two ears (or eyes if you want to email/text/chat me) if you need it. That's what I think of whenever there is news of a suicide, or an quiet death alone (accidental or natural). Were they just so alone that they checked out? Did they ask for help, but no one answered because they thought they had it all already?

Asking for help is really difficult. Almost as difficult as saying "no." (Or vice versa, we're all different.) One thing I've noticed is that most people do ask for help-just not in the form of a question. Yes, there are signs. For everything. Positive and negative. But are you listening? Are you seeing?

That's what's on my mind, Facebook. And I'm about to answer your question by sharing this blog in my status. But I guess by the time you read this, I already have. I think I just caused a glitch in the matrix.

What's on your mind? What's in your wallet? (Don't sue me Capital One.)