And sometimes, the flashing lights align for some coincidental art.
On one hand, you drove here to see a show, some entertainment, and there's a good chance there will be some sort of explosion or fiery spectacle involved. On the other, you know that the emergency vehicles are there because they're responding to an actual incident, but your curiosity has invited you to a show before the show.
Help is versatile beast. You can search for it, and it can arrive unannounced. It can be shared by many, but it can also be personalized. Help can come into your life in long and short durations, as friendships, mentorships, or flash experiences.
And for many, it can be one of the scariest things to ask for. It can be interpreted as a sign of weakness, an indication of a lack of knowledge, or an admission of vulnerability.
Sometimes, it's still difficult to ask for help, but over time I've learned to look at a call for help as an instance of awareness and desire for growth.
That's really what it is. A desire for growth. When you've hit a wall or have arrived at an incline so steep that you cannot grip enough to climb higher. When you need that bump, that helping hand, the boost to help you break through.
That's why I've asked for help before, and that's why I continue to. When turning to the bottle became an addiction. When couch time is the only option I could think of. When I refused to leave my house and take on the world again. When I was so far back in my cave that I thought of love to be such a waste of time.
Growing up as a first-generation American to Filipino parents, there was a lot of talk of pride and reputation and having to work four times as hard as white people, or women, or anyone else, and because of this, asking for help was something shunned because it was regarded as a sign of weakness.
The other day I shared an article from the Huffington Post commenting that we can't afford to be naive. I strongly believe that. Through education and honest, mature conversation, we can all learn more and better arm ourselves to take on the struggles and situations that we are faced with. Through honesty we learn more about each other and ourselves, reinforcing (or in some cases establishing) a sense of cohesion.
This is not a passive aggressive cry for help. This is me throwing in the towel for the blog of the day, because for reasons I have yet to sort, my mind is all over the place.
In an attempt to learn from this experience...
Having taken photos and written a blog for each one for every day so far this month, I'm patting myself on the back for sticking it the Photo and Blog a Day Challenge I imposed on myself. When this much writing happens, with very little planning and an array of prompts, there will definitely good days and bad days. Today is one of those bad days. (Or, as I learned in my Duolingo app the other day, Hoy no es mi dio.)
Like NaNoWriMo shared in the last few hours of November as we all approached the midnight deadline, "write all the crap. just write."
And so, even though it's rough, I'm 19 for 19 in the month February.
Here's to a new day tomorrow.