maybe "rants" isn't the right word. these are simple thoughts about my life. some may be more colorful than others. some language may be offensive, but it depends on your definition of offensive. consider this your warning ;)

23 February 2014

Photo and Blog a Day Challenge-Day 22/28: I See

Last night I watched Good Will Hunting. Not on television, but on a DVD, uncensored and uninterrupted by commercials. It wasn't the first time seeing the film, and it certainly won't be the last, now that I own a copy I can watch at will. (See what I did there?) As I was watching the relationship between Will and Sean develop in the therapy sessions, I said to myself, "This movie is like Fight Club." Anyone worth their weight in homemade soap from the Paper Street Soap Company would immediately recognize the ridiculousness of that last thought. Allow me to expound. Even if you don't, it's my blog, so I will.

The first time I saw Fight Club (I had not read the book yet) it was 2001 and I was living in an apartment in South Carolina. I spent more nights sleeping on the couch downstairs because that's where the TV was. One day I woke up to a particularly interesting movie with Edward Norton and Brad Pitt, so I continued to watch. Unsure of how much I had missed, I tried to piece together what I could as the film went on. Needless to say, it was a mess trying to catch up. Here and there I would catch it on TV, but again would miss parts here and there. Finally, around the fourth or fifth time I had caught it flipping through channels, I finally saw it from start to finish. And to use a cliché (that I've heard many use, but I myself do not identify with) it's like the first time I heard the Beatles. The more I watched Fight Club the more I understood a little bit more of myself. Each time I watched I noticed a little bit more about the movie, Tyler Durden, and Norton's character.

2001 was full of turning points. I got my first apartment. I learned to drive. I got my driver's license. My paternal grandfather died. I graduated from  the Navy's Nuclear Pipeline. September 11th. My first love dashed any penciled in future I had in mind and wrote us into friendzoned cells with walls thicker than the Great Wall of China. I got drunk for the first time. I started casually dating (or at least attempted to).

Fight Club became to me a sort of fireworks display when my life's sky went black. It showed me that I could still be the same nice, friendly, fun-loving kid I was in high school, but still have the stereotypical sailor side that I was finding on my own. Marlon was The Narrator and Petty Officer Deleon was Tyler Durden.

Going back to Good Will Hunting, as I was watching the young punk of a genius feign and jab at the MIT graduate from Southie, I had a pleasant sense of déja vu. As I had mentioned earlier, this was not the first time I had seen GWH, but something about this time made it click differently. Maybe it was the way Will knew exactly what to say to all the other therapists in their pre-therapy screenings. Or the way he rationalizes not working for the NSA. Or maybe it's how Sean, serene and wise to most, instills fear in the tough kid from a broken past with a single-handed choke hold against the window. Whatever it was, whether it was the theme of therapy, acknowledging the truth, pushing away others, or welcoming someone into your life so much they have no choice but to see the truth, that movie rocks me like when Fight Club's Narrator realizes the gun is in his hand.

And then I realized I have a gross obsession with stories involving drastic personality dichotomies because I feel I can relate to them.

Fight Club--Narrator and Tyler Durden
Good Will Hunting--Will Hunting and Sean Maguire
The Silence of the Lambs--Dr. Lecter and Agent Starling
Hannibal (TV series)--Dr. Lecter and Will Graham

While the rest of my Facebook feed has been filled with Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, and [insert Netflix series here], I'm like, "Hannibal! Hannibal! Hannibal!" Honestly though, I'm not generally one to follow a television series. I'll watch sports and movies if I have control of the remote. But with the magic of DVR during the show's first series, I dove headfirst into the most brilliant show I've ever chose to sink my teeth into. Everything in show amazes me. The acting by Hugh Dancy (Graham) and Mads Mikkelsen (Lecter) in addition to the strong ensemble around them, the writing, the scoring, the images, plotlines, and progressions...EVERYTHING.

They didn't pay me to write this, but who am I kidding, here's a Season One Recap if you didn't watch or if you wish to enjoy the quick trip down memory lane.

With today's photo, I showcase how I'll be able to do my own Season One Recap
When I saw the prompt for the day, my Fannibal mind immediately thought of Hobbs telling Graham to see. See the clip "See" for a turning point in Will's relationship with his psychiatrist, friend, and antagonist, Hannibal Lecter.

I know I'm one in seven billion. And more times than not it's fantastic. But there are times when I wish I was easier to relate to. To console. To connect with. To help. Sometimes I think I'm as complicated as The Narrator, or Will Hunting, or Sean Maguire, or Will Graham, or Hannibal Lecter. Or David Dunn. Or David Webb.

But then I see.

I see myself like Water.
I see myself on my own Two feet.
I see my Mind.

And more importantly. I like what I see. Well, to be more specific. I love what I see now. What I see now is very Different from what I saw nine years ago.

So yes, I see.

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